Some people have sex only after marriage. Others will do it in a committed relationship, with or without marriage, and still others will sling their clothes all over the room for just about anyone they meet.

And there's nothing wrong with any of those people
It's important, however, that you determine which kind of person you are. Having sex in a situation you aren't comfortable with will lead to trouble. Whether it's a one night stand or simply living together, if you don't think it's right, you shouldn't do it.

"But the idea turns me on," you might say. Well, honey, lots of ideas turn me on. That doesn't mean I act on them all. That's where I come in. ;-)

Well, maybe not me, personally. But me, the author, and other erotica authors, we can help you out. That idea that turns you on but you just aren't comfortable actually doing? I bet someone has written it. More than once, too. There's a reason we do that.

There's nothing wrong with a fantasy. There's nothing wrong with imagining you're intimate with someone of the same gender, or that you're having sex in public, with multiple partners, or whatever else your little...heart...desires.

The key is knowing what should be brought into the real world and what should remain within the realm of fantasy. If the theoretical idea of sharing your man with another woman turns you on, but imagining doing it for real turns your skin positively green with jealousy, then clearly that should remain in the fantastical realm.

Maybe it's not even about something turning you on but needing to remain a fantasy. Maybe you don't really even know what turns you on. Maybe you're one of those people who's only ever had sex in the missionary position, with the lights off, and you don't even know what the sex organs of the opposite sex even look like.

If that's you, first I'd really love to see the rock you've been living under. Second, I have to say, you don't know what you've been missing. And third, start exploring!

Hit up Smashwords, Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Books-A-Million, or your favorite local bookstore and take a look at the various options for erotica. Consider purchasing an anthology that contains a variety of stories so you can get a small taste of different activities, styles and the like. Then just start reading. Of course, if you're in public or have kids, you might want to use an e-reading device or hide the book in the cover of something less racy, but other than that, get to reading!

Explore how the different stories make you feel. Experiment and play with your partner to see what works for both of you or only one of you.

One word of caution: if you determine you are one of those people that enjoys one night stands or multiple partners (or you decide to explore that route), be safe about it. Use condoms, every time, without fail. Without a condom sounds super sexy, and in fantasy it is, but it's not so sexy when you spend the rest of your life explaining to future partners that you have herpes.

Now, go indulge your fantasies. Pick up one of my short erotica stories at Smashword or Amazon, or someone else's. Enjoy!

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    I'm a writer of erotica - so far, just short stories, but I hope to eventually write a full length erotic novel. I will post my random musings here.


    March 2013
    February 2013